- 28 september 2017
Everything you always wanted to know
The Leiden PubTalks group hosts a presentation with Barry and Cathy, who will discuss polyamory and the possibilities it offers.
This is geared particularly to those new to polyamory or curious about it.
There are many misunderstandings about polyamory. Some people think it is only about having lots of sex and many partners. Nothing wrong with that 🙂 But it is really about who gets to make the choices in your life.
Polyamory is often described as having ethical relationships that are not sexually exclusive, and are based on consent, honesty, and transparency – everybody on the same team. In the rest of life everyone agrees that we all should have the right to choose where we want to live, what work we want to do, and many other things.
Polyamory simply says that in the area of love, sex, and relationship you have this same right to your own choices.
Most poly relationships are not closed or exclusive. Even when there is a living-together unit, poly people often become emotionally and physically connected to others outside of that unit. In polyamory this is not “cheating” but rather expanding and growing, typically into a network or web of interconnected relationships. An interesting thing happens when it’s okay to be deeply connected to a web of other people. Often the romantic partners and their partners (metamours, in the jargon) create a solid and connected community of people who are there for each other, like a family, team or tribe. Western mainstream culture often pushes people apart, into smaller and more distant relationships. But this facet of polyamory can help bring people together, building community and connection.
In the end, though, the exact configuration is up to you, because polyamory is simply self-determination as applied to relationships, in exactly the same way that self-determination applies to every other part of life. You get to choose how your life looks everywhere else – why not here too?
Come join us as we discuss all these possibilities. To avoid disruption please arrive on time. There is no charge for this event.
Presented by Leiden PubTalks and held at the North End English Pub (Noordeinde 55, 2311 CB Leiden). Tonight’s language is English. When you arrive, ask the pub staff where we are in the pub. We’re easy to find 🙂
About the presenters: Barry and Cathy have been involved in community building and event production for many years, and in polyamory almost since the word was coined (and are friends with all the people who were in the room when that happened). They have been presenters and organizers for many years both in the US and now in the Netherlands, and are members of the global Polyamory Leadership Network.
Ex-Californians, they are former organizers of East Bay Poly in Berkeley and Chesapeake Polyamory in Washington DC, they led BmorePoly in Maryland which they grew to more than 3000 members and over 50 events every month making it one of the largest such groups in the world, and currently help lead the Leiden open relationships group. At the core of their approach is a belief that All This Stuff is really a reflection of everyone’s right to live their own life on their own terms, and has rather more to do with connection and self-determination than with sex and number of partners. More about them at www.bmorepoly.org/BandCworkshops.php and www.ejhs.org/volume14/NoSuch.htm